With Every Beat Of My Heart
by Bozcorelli
Summary: I will get him back, If it's the last thing I do... Bosco angst and some vulgar language... you've been warned
1. Maritza Cruz

Author: Bozcorelli  
  
Title: With Every Beat Of My Heart  
  
Summary: I will get him back, If it's the last thing I do...  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I know you know that!  
  
Notes: Hope you like it. Yeah.  
  
Love. That word had no meaning to me. Hearts, flowers, marriage, and all that other sappy shit. I never wanted to love anyone. It all seemed so stupid to me. Besides, it's impossible to love me. No one ever has. Not my sister, my father, my mother, or any of my so called boyfriends. Sometimes they would say they did love me, but actions speak louder than words. They didn't love me at all.  
  
I accepted that. I accepted loneliness. I had to. I had no one and I was never gonna have any one. Why dwell on something you ain't never gonna have right? So I put on the act. The tough act. I walked around like I owned the place, and awhile later I did own the place. People don't mess with me. And to be honest, I actually believe this tough act was me. The real me. I liked it.   
  
Everything was going great when he came. The problem. He walked into the room and he wasn't afraid of me. I didn't scare him, I didn't intimidate him, and that is what pissed me off. There was no way in hell I was gonna let him take me down. No way. So I did what I had to do, I had to get rid of him.  
  
Murder was way over the line, Kidnapping him and sending him to Korea was also over the line, so it came to me. I would set him up for my fall. The plan was perfect. Simple, easy, and there was no way he'd see it coming.  
  
But there was something I didn't see coming.....  
  
I fell for him. Very slowly, day by day he meant a lil more to me. Then my sister died. My only sister died in my arms. The worst day of my life. That night he came to me. He came to my home, where no one was around. No one around for me to distract myself with. It was just us. As he pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, looking into my eyes, I knew. I knew he wasn't like the other. He's special. I need him.  
  
My twisted mind wouldn't accept that though, so I kept hurting him. I kept putting his name on the papers, I kept pushing him a lil closer to the edge. Why? I honestly don't know. I felt it was something I had to do.  
  
He figured me out. Him and that fucking useless bitch Yokas. They figured me out. One thing led to another and I'm in Aaron Noble's hotel room with two guns pointed at me. He says he shot me. He said it was him. I know he shot at Noble. I know he hit Noble. The bitch, she's the one who got me. But I got her back. Boy, did I get her. Proud of it too.  
  
Time went along. He hated me. I can't say I hated him. Hell, I missed him. But I gotta hate him. It's only right. I still walked around with this tough bitch act. That act got me into some serious shit. I thought nothing could hurt me. Warner did. He hurt me alot.   
  
Rape. I use to feel sorry for women who were raped. I'd say what a shame. Shame. Shame is a good word for rape. I'm ashamed of what happened to me. I know I didn't ask for it, but that doesn't mean it wasn't my fault. But we caught him, we caught warner. I felt good, but sad at the same time.   
  
He asked me out for drinks. Get something to eat. Ya know how it is. I wanted to say yes. I needed to say yes. This is what I wanted. I wanted him back. But I said no. Rape can change you, and can shange how people feel about you. I don't need his pity. I need him.  
  
Time moved on. I got better. I returned to ACU from beat cop sarge. I loved being back. Everything was falling back in place. Almost everythng. I still didn't have him. He was gone to me now. Yokas was back. They were partners again. She's gonna try and brainwash him. She always does. Stupid bitch.  
  
So here I am. All alone. Absolutely no one to hold in my arms, no one to kiss, and no one to love. But I do have something. I have a plan.  
  
I Maritza Cruz, WILL get Maurice Boscorelli back, if it's the last thing I do. 


	2. Locker Room

Chapter 2: Locker Room  
  
I do this everyday. Ever since the night in the hotel. I sit myself in the darkest corner of the locker room, pretty far away, so no one can see me, but I can see them. Everyday I watch him. He doesn't know about this, but one day he'll find out. Not looking foward to that.  
  
Yokas is pregnant doging. Surprised? Me neither. Her husband is mad at her, her kids are being bratty, yada yada. She should treat her husband a bit better. He's the only one stupid enough to stay with her. Yeah, incase you haven't picked this up yet, I hate Faith Yokas. Stupid pregnant dog. I should've lodged that bullet in her brain instead. Would've done me alot better, and Bosco. Bosco. He's all I care about.  
  
Everyone left but him. He sighs. God, his sighs can drive a person crazy. Well me anyway. Everything he does is so beautiful, even his sighs. I realize I'm smiling and feel incredibly stupid. Then again, I am sitting in a dark corner watching a man who wants nothing to do with me. I am Crazy. Crazy for Bosco.  
  
Now I'm not obsessed or anything. Believe me I'm not. I just don't want this feeling to go away. Everytime I see him, I remember holding him in my arms, I remember kissing him on the forehead while he slept, I remember loving him... but most of all I remember him loving me.  
  
He's taking his shirt off. There they are. His beautiful chest, stomach, his body. My eyes scan his abs. He's got perfection beaten. His muscles aren't huge, and they aren't small. Perfect. He puts his vest on. I watch him carefully, making sure he does it right. Ya ever know. He finishes getting dressed and closes his locker slowly. He leans his forehead against it. What's he doing? Is he okay? I start to feel alarmed. I have to make my entrance.  
  
"Boscorelli" I said pretending to be coming back from my locker. He looks over at me. Now I bet you can ask any woman who has ever loved Bosco, what they love the most. I bet you they'll all give you the same answer. His eyes. They show his feeling, the true depths of who he is. His pain, his loss, his sorrow, his love, his joy, himself. I get lost in his eyes. His eyes are my drug. I'm addicted and I need more. I live on them.  
  
"Cruz" he says back softly, causing me to snap outta my daze. His voice. Another outstanding quality of who he is. His laugh, his angry voice, his sobbing voice, his sad voice, his confused voice, his surprised voice. All those tones of one man's voice. But there's one voice that I think beats the rest. His I love you voice. The way his lips move as he says it, the very small pause between each word. I long to hear that voice. I need to hear that voice, to assure me he still has it. "You need something?"  
  
Once again he snaps me outta my thoughts. I smile, a bit embarrased at my zoning. "Oh yeah, uhm.... Just saying hi" I say. Good one. "So hi" I add. Hit me with a truck now please. His lips curve into a grin. Okay now I'm gonna go on about his lips. He has toxic lips. No I'm not quoting Britney Spears, it's true. His lips upon my lips make me feel great. Maybe I am quoting Britney Spears. Moving on.. His smile is enough to make any woman just roll over and die right there. The way he grins, those cute lines he has when he laughs. God.. love. And his kisses. Holy nuts. Lemme tell ya.. Perfect. Absolute perfection.  
  
"Hi" he says and turns towards the sinks, washing his hands. I take this time to look at his ass. Oh baby. Give me some of that. I quickly look foward so he doesn't catch me. All I'm gonna say is. His ass, also perfect.  
  
I walk over and lean against the wall, looking at him. I know something's wrong. I wanna know, I need to know, I need to make it better. "What's up Bos?" I ask softly. I need to gain his trust again. Believe me, Bosco has been hurt more time than I'd ever like, his trust is something that you need to handle with great care once you get it. Me. I threw it. I broke his trust, and left him there to handle it on his own. Now I need to get it back, but I'm not sure if I can.  
  
"Nothing" he says with a small smile. Oh sweetie, don't play with me. I know that smile. I use that smile.  
  
"If you insist" I say. Something's happening to me. I move a lil closer to him, my hand on his back, gently rubbing it. Oh god what am I doing?! Your blowing it Cruz! Blowing it big time. "You don't have to be alone Bosco, wether you like it or not, you got me, always" I say. Kill me! I'm so gonna make him run away.   
  
Surprisingly he doesn't move. He just closes his eyes, leaning foward against the sink. It take his arm and pull him away. He doesn't protest. I'm not sure if it's cuz he wants to come with me, or if he's so drained, he just doesn't care. I sit him down and look him in the eyes. I run my hand through his short hair. He closes his eyes. I know Bosco inside out. I know that he has a weakness of me running my fingers through his hair. I smile softly as he seems to relax a lil. I run my fingers along his cheek. I got him hooked now.  
  
"Bosco don't do this alone" I whisper. I sit down right next to him. He hangs his head, his eyes still closed. I'm not exactly sure of all the torture he's going through, but I know enough to know it's gotta be hard. He slowly opens his eyes, head still hung.  
  
"I" he pauses a for a minute. "I can't do it anymore.." he says softly, biting his bottom lip. I know he won't cry infront of me, which breaks my heart. I carefully reach over and pull him to me, my arm wrapped around him. He leans on me, his eyes closed again. As I sit here, holding the man who means more to me than life itself, only one thing comes to my mind.  
  
"I know" 


	3. Waking Up

Chapter 3: Waking Up  
  
I slowly open my eyes. I'm at my place. Great. I can't really remember what had happened before, but I know I wasn't drunk. If I was the hangover would be killing me. I smile though. I do remember one thing. Bosco. I remember holding Bosco in my arms in the locker room.  
  
Slowly turning around I fell someone else on my bed. Turning around fully, I see him. Bosco's in my bed. Oh my god. I can feel myself smiling. I turn around the rest of the way so I'm laying on my side towards him.  
  
He looks soooooo cute when he sleeps. I could try and explain it but... there aren't any good enough words to explain it. Perfect. I say that alot when I'm describing him. Well, it's true. I trace my finger along Bosco's face. He stirs a lil, but doesn't wake up. Good. Part of me is afraid he'll wake up and panic. Panic cuz he's in MY be with ME. I hate to say it, but I might've taken advantage of him yesterday. He was in a weak state of mind, and I came in. I'm not gonna worry about that though. Who knows, maybe he wants this as much as I do. Maybe.  
  
I run my hand down his built arms. God blessed me, by having Bosco in my bed. I never believed in God. Ever. But if he can give me back the love I need, from the man I need... maybe he is there. Maybe my prayers will finally be answered.  
  
He starts to stir, making a small smile appear on my face. I'd try to stop myself from smiling, but I never really can with Bosco. I continue to run my finger along his chin. He takes a deep breath and slowly opens his eyes. Oh god, those eyes. I still can't wipe the small smile off my face. "Hey you" I say softly. Hey you? Oy.  
  
"Hey" he whispers back, smiling slightly. He's still wearing his clothes, so we didn't have sex. I can change that though. I gently push him onto his back and crawl up closer. He keeps grinning at me. God if he only knew how much I love him. Before I can control myself I'm straddling him, my hands under his shirt, rubbing his chest.  
  
I lean down, my lips on his. I run my tongue along his lips. He gives me an amused look. kiss him softly, then kissed down his neck, sucking on his skin softly. I can feel his soft moan vibrate on my lips. I sit back up and pull his shirt off, not hesitating before I bring my lips to his chest, kissing all over. I want him to know how much I love him, and he will. 


	4. Missing You

Chapter 4: Missing You  
  
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I finish doing my hair and grab my keys. I gotta get to work, can't be late now can we? Besides, Bosco'll be there and I haven't seen him in exactly 5 hours 38 minutes and 34 seconds.... 35 seconds... 36 seconds... 37 seconds. Okay I can count the clock later I really gotta go. I walk out of my apartment and head towards the exit. As if today wasn't good enough it just got amazingly better. I walk out of my apartment building to spot Bosco standing there, leaning against his blue mustang. Oh baby, hot papi.  
  
"Hey Bos" I say. I'm not sure if I;m smiling or not, cuz seeing him makes me feel so numb. I probably am though. God Bosco why do you have to be so damn hot?! Huh?! Why? Oh well this is just great, he's grinning. I'm already dying but grinning.. now c'mon... play fair Bos.   
  
"Hey" he says with a slight smile. Ok the grin is gone but now he has this adorible lil smirkish cutish kinda smile. You following me? No? Oh well. I wanna grab him and kiss that lil smile off his hot lips. Maybe I will. Alright, sexy thoughts later. He might be in trouble. Why would he be in trouble? Is he hurt? Oh my god? Did someone hurt him? I always do this. I think he might be hurt, then I have a frikin panic attack. Stupid mind. He knows I'm looking him up and down, not in a seductive way either. "Hey, hey Maritza... I'm fine..." he smiles. Psh, atleast he can smile. He scared me. Well I scared myself. Stupid me.  
  
"Just making sure" I smile back at him. "Did you need something? Anything at all?" I ask. He shakes his head and pushed himself off from leaning on the car. He's now right infront of me. I can practically feel his leather jacket. Yum. God Bosco, seriously, must you be so hot. I thank God he can't hear what I'm thinking. I still gotta be tough ya know. I gotta be strong. I gotta keep the act up, even for Bosco. If he knew the power he had over me, All hell would break loose.  
  
"So I uh... came to uh ya know... see if you... maybe... needed a ride" Oh my god. He's nervous. That is sooooo cute! I can't help but smile as he looks down at the ground, unable to look at me. Baby...  
  
"I'd love a ride Bos" I say softly, gently lifting his chin so he's looking at me. His eyes meet mine and once again I'm lost in 'em. I can see them shine as he smiles. I let go of his chin, smiling myself. God if he only knew. I pull him down to me gently, my lips connecting to his in a sweet passionate kiss. I can feel his smooth sweet tasting tongue run across mine. I need this more than he can even imagine. I play with his tongue, my tongue running with his. A few minutes later we both pull apart, outta breath. I smile, my arms still around his neck. "I missed that" I say with a grin.  
  
He smiles to, letting out a small laugh. He looks away from me for a minute and I can tell he wants to say something. No. He NEEDS to say something. I'll give him some time though. A few seconds later he looks back at me. "I missed you" he says softly. Well if there is a heaven, I'm in it. Bosco had missed me. All this time I thought he was planning my death, and now he's admitting that he missed me.   
  
"I missed you too Mi Amor" I say softly. Oh my god that is such an understatement. But like I said, I need the power. I can't let him know how I feel. I can't tell him that just the thought of him makes me weak. I can't tell him I like to sleep with the pillow he used cuz it smells like him. I can't tell him that I need him. I can't tell him that if something were to happen to him, I'm as good as dead. I can't tell him these things. I have to lock all this up inside me, and never let it out. Well maybe some day I will.  
  
He smiles again and kisses my forehead. "Lets go" he whispers in my ear. His breath against my ear makes me shiver and close my eyes. It takes a minute before I'm able to get myself together and get into the passenger side of his mustang. He walks over to the drivers side. I smile at him from my side and he smiles back. We get in and we're off. 


	5. Shots

Chapter 5: Shots  
  
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Another day of work. Yay. I love my job, don't get me wrong, but sometimes it can just be soooo annoying. Ya know? Atleast I get to see Bosco whenever he brings a perp in. He's working with Yokas. I don't like that. I trust Sasha, not Faith. Work with Sasha, not Faith. I have one of those feelings. A bad one. Bosco hasn't been in here for awhile. Shut up Maritza, he's fine. You worry to much.   
  
I hear yelling and paniced voices downstairs. Oh god now what? I walk down and it just so happens I run into Sullivan who seems to be in a rush to get somewhere. "Hey what's going on?" I ask him. I can tell by the sigh and the look on his face he really wants to get going. To bad, I want answers damnit.  
  
"Shootout..." he said and I can tell there's something he's keeping from me. But what? That is the question. I study his face as he shifts from foot to foot, anxious to get out there and probably help. Then it hits me. Bosco.  
  
I sigh and lick my lips. I cross my arms in an attempt to keep some kinda power to me. "Is he in it?" I ask. He doesn't have to answer, I can tell by his look. Fuck. Shit. No. God damnit!  
  
"Why do you care" he snaps at me. Oh no he did not just go there. He's trying to stick up for his friend. How sweet... Not. Bastard.  
  
"Is he!?" I say a lil louder than I had planned. I can't help it. Bosco could be in trouble and I'm standing here with lard ass trying to get answers outta him. Sullivan nods. That's all I need to know before I take off out that door. I don't care about anything right now, but getting to Bosco.  
  
I get in an unmarked car and take off. I'm not sure how I ended up getting there so fast, my body must've been working on it's own, my mind else where. I see Yokas looking around and I hold my breath. Where's Bosco. I jog over. "Yokas!" I scream. "Where is he?" I need to know. I don't think anyone understands how much I need to get to him. They'll never understand. Yokas looks at me surprised. I swear if something happens to him, I'll have Yokas and Sullivan's asses hanging in my living room.   
  
"Cruz?" No I'm fucking Casper the friendly ghost. Dumbass. "I dunno... h-he took off... I can't find him... he's" she paniced looking around. Stupid. What kinda partner is she anyway? Throwing caution into the wind, I take off running through the gunfire. I dunno where I'm going, but I gotta get him. I gotta.  
  
My legs begin to burn. I know I wasn't shot, but they still burn. I push that aside when I turn down an alley, now covered from the shots. I start to breath heavilly. I can't believe this... where the hell is he? I carefully peak around the corner, trying to spot Bosco and not get shot at the same time. Easier said than done. "BOSCO!" I figure he might hear me and respond. I really am stupid huh?  
  
I see something crouched down under something off towards the other side where the shots aren't being fired. I try and get a better look. I can't see a face so I do what any good cop would know to do. Fortunately I'm not a cop.... I'm a sarge. That means I know more, so I look for the gun. It's an officers gun on the ground. So that's one of our officers. Very good Maritza. Looking again I see some of the badge number. 379? Who the fu........... oh my god. Bosco's badge number is 3379.  
  
"No" I take off, running over. My heart's racing. I'm not sure if it's from being shot at, from running, or from knowing the man I love may be dead, hurt, or in trouble. Maybe a bit of all. But mostly number 3. I reach him and I can't believe what I'm seeing..............  
  
TBC  
  
Hahahahaha leaving you with that! 


	6. He Haunts My Dreams

Chapter 6: He Haunts My Dreams  
  
I reach him and I can't believe what I'm seeing..............  
  
"Warner" The words come out as a question, though i'm really not asking. I know who I see before me. I will never forget his face. The curves of his face, the way his lips twist up into a smile, how his eyes taunt you, how he has this cocky ass posture. I remember it all. It haunts me every single night. When I lay down to sleep, that's what I see. When my mind isn't occupied with work or whatever the situation is, he's the one invading my thoughts.  
  
His eyes come up towards mine. I feel sick to my stomach, knowing the last time I saw that look in his eyes was when he raped me. The last time I saw the vicious horrible cruel look he holds in his eyes, was that day. But now I see it again, and it makes me take a step back. Then I remember what the full picture here. Warner has a gun, and it's aimed at Bosco. I look down at Bosco and I can see the blood slowly making it's way from his forehead down his cheek to his chin.  
  
"Bosco" I say softly. I just wanna say his name. I need to say that one word that for about a year now has made all my fears go away. That one word I say when Warner hunts me down in my dreams. That one word that makes everything okay, even if it's heading to disaster. That one word that has kept me alive this long. Bosco.  
  
I didn't even notice that I was slowly making my way towards him. All I was seeing was the blood on his forehead where Warner must've hit him. "Stay back!" Warner yells, grabbing the back of the collar on Bosco's coat and pulling Bosco towards him. Immediately stopping, I make eye contact with Bosco. He's scared. I think I'm worse than he is, only because I know what Warner's capable of. I know that Warner will do anything in his power to get his dick tended to, even if he needs a male to do so. I hope he doesn't though. I will throw myself before him before I ever let him touch Bosco in any sexual way. Over my dead body, and I'm not ready to die yet.  
  
"Okay Okay calm down" I gotta try and reason, this guy's a psycho. Not to mention a retard. He's kidnapping a cop right infront of a major shootout, what a jackass. Although, he does seem to be getting away with it, which pisses me off. No officers have yet to notice. Assholes. All of them. The shots between the offciers of the 55th and the street gang don't really bother me anymore. They aren't as loud as before, and they don't scare me as much as before. But I am scared. Scared of Warner, and scared for Bosco.  
  
"Come with me bitch" he smirked, walking backwards. I didn't even notice. My eyes have yet to leave Bosco's. I swear if this bastard hurts him, I'll chop him up into pieces and deliver his body pieces to his parents. Bosco's eyes close as he's dragged along the road. I wanna hold him, tell him I love him and kiss him all day long. Next thing I know he's shoving Bosco to the side and aiming his gun at him, he cocks his gun back and fires.  
  
"NOOOOO!!" 


	7. Slipping Away

Chapter 7: Slipping Away  
  
"NOOOOO!!"   
  
I've never screamed that loud in my life. But I had good reason. The man who I hate more than anything has just shot the man I love more than anything. Another shot. I seem to be frozen as I watch Bosco's body jerk from the other shot. Then another one. Three. I keep staring, my mind telling my legs to move, but my legs won't budge. My eyes are wide as I stare at Bosco. Warner shoots again before looking at me. "I'll make you pay" he says before running off. I watch him run off before looking back to Bosco.  
  
"Bos" I say softly, as if he'll respond. I beg God to let his vest have saved his life while I stare at him. My body starts to function and I rush over, dropping to my knees beside him. I unzip his coat and pull his shirt apart, the buttons flying everywhere. I slip my hand under his vest. I close my eyes as I pull my hand back out. I slowly re open them and look down at my hand. My hand is drenched in his blood. "No" I whisper. "God please no!" I say loudly. I grab my radio.  
  
"10-13! 10-13!! Officer down, bus on the rush!!! 10-13!!!!!!" I scream. I drop my radio, not really caring if I broke it or not. I move towards his head and put both of my hands on his cheeks. "Bosco... stay with me... Bosco don't leave me" I sob. I'm scared, more than you can believe. He groans in agony and opens his eyes. Like I said before, his eyes hold his emotion, how he's feeling. Right now just looking into his eyes physically hurts me. The pain, the fear, and the panic overcomes me, making me lost in my own lil world.  
  
"Maritza" he said painfully, squeezing his eyes shut and letting out another groan. I stare down at him. His blood is all over his face from when I put my hands on his cheeks. I stroke his hair back. The sirens can be heard from a slight distance. I know the medics are here. Leaning down towards his ear, I whisper the only thing I can really think of.   
  
"I love you Bos" I come back up, looking down at him. He looks up at me, his eyes making it harder and harder for me not to cry. I can tell he's about to lose consciousness from the way his eyes start to drift. I let a tear slide down my face. I grab his hand and hold it to my heart. I hear Yokas screaming as the medics push me aside. My brain sort of shuts down. I don't know what the Nieto and the blonde woman are doing, I really don't care. I want Bosco.   
  
I walk with them to the Ambulance where they load him in. It's bad. I can tell from all the blood. It's everywhere. On me, on them, on Bosco, on the road, on the floors, everywhere. I get in the back with Nieto. I notice something. He seems to be taking this call to heart. Maybe him and Bosco are friends. I dunno that much about him, but I remember hearing bout him in that shootout thing with crazy ass Parker.   
  
"Lavigne hurry!" he screams. That's the last thing I heard before the long heart wrenching screech that filled the ambulance. It was so loud it even blocked out the loud annoying sirens. I look at Carlos then back towards Bosco, then to the heart monitor. I stare at the monitor as my life slips away. 


	8. Heaven and Hell

Chapter 8: Heaven and Hell  
  
I'm not sure how long I was sitting there, watching them try to zap some life into Bosco. They just gave up when they finally got a few beats outta him. Nothing big, but he was alive. What else matters? I'm not sure how long it took us to get to the hospital. I don't remember getting out of the bus. All I remember is the blood, the blood that stained the hospital floor, that I'm standing in right now. I don't mean to stand in it, there's no place on the floor that it isn't. I have to. I'm standing at the glass doors, looking into hell. While I'm standing out here safe and healthy, all hell has broken loose on the other side. This glass door is like Purgatory, separating us from heaven, and hell.  
  
I want to bleed right now. I want someone to slice my skin open and let me bleed. It's only right I feel a lil pain, not even half as much as the man I love, but some. I know that they're behind me. His friends, I know they're standing behind me, watching the same hell I am. But somehow they aren't. Not the same thing. They're watching their friend of 12 years die infront of their eyes. They'll move on with time. But me..... I'm watching myself die. Bosco is and always will be my everything. I'll never get over this, because the second his heart stops so does mine. We are two different people made as one.  
  
I know I'm crying, I can feel the wet tears slowly make their way down my cheeks. I know I'm not the only one though. Faith is balling behind me. God I hate that bitch. Maybe if she had been watching him! Maybe if she had been doing her job right! I know I shouldn't blame this on lard ass Yokas but I have to blame it on someone other than Warner, because I'm scared of Warner but I'm not scared of Yokas. I know I can kick her ass within 10 seconds. I hate how Yokas thinks she's all that. She's ugly and quite honestly she smells like shit. I don't get how Bosco put up with the smell for so long, or how he put up with the whore for so long.  
  
A nurse grabs my arm and pulls me away from the doors as they open. About 10 Doctors rush Bosco out and towards the elevators. I struggle to go with him but this nurse Proctor has a death grip on my arms. I wanted to call out to him, scream his name in hopes that it would chase away all my fears again. My fear of losing him. But I don't. I open my mouth and I stand there looking like an idiot. The nurse lets go of me and walks away slowly. Maybe she knew Bosco, or maybe she's some bitch who's pitying me right now. Or maybe neither.  
  
I looked back into the ER and look at his blood that's being moped away, as if it just belonged to any other person. This guy doesn't care. He doesn't care that he's washing away the blood of the man I love. The blood of a man so many people care for. The blood of an officer. A hero. A man. All it is to him is another job to do before he gets to go home. Selfish bastard. I should make him clean up his own blood., maybe then he'll understand. Maybe then he'll get what the blood really means.  
  
Yokas, Davis, and Sullivan are off to the waiting room. I should go there too. I don't want to be around any of them, and I'm sure they're all goona give me some kinda trouble. Bring it. I'll take them all down with one kick. Assholes. I look back in at the guy who is now making his way outside the glass doors to clean up where I am. Ya know what, I'm gonna give the bastard a job alright.  
  
I walk away down the hall, my shoes leaving footprints of blood. I had been standing in it for awhile. I know I'm leaving a mess behind me. Good. Asshole can clean it up. I get in the elevator and look at the hall. My footprints of Bosco's blood led all the way down here. I hope he has fun cleaning this up. The elevator doors close and I'm finally alone. I tilt my head back against the elevator wall and listen to the "comforting" music. Now all I have to do is wait.  
  
Wait. To see if my life has ended 


End file.
